An Incredible Journey

13 de mayo 2017
Floridablanca, Santander, Colombia

Yes yes, I know, I'm terrible about keeping up with this blog.  But I'm going to tell you a story of events that happened 5 months ago - my journey back to Colombia from Chicago after Christmas break.

It's a long and harrowing tale, involving standing in many lines and a lot of waiting time.  Thankfully there is some frustrated attempt of wit through my live tweets of this trek. (See below!)


7 - 9 de enero 2017
Mount Prospect, Illinois, United States
O'Hare Airport, Chicago, Illinois, United States
Newark Liberty Airport, Newark, New Jersey, United States
Wyndham Garden, Newark, New Jersey, United States
El Dorado Airport, Bogotá, DC, Colombia
Palonegro Airport, Lebrija, Santander, Colombia
Floridablanca, Santander, Colombia

What was originally supposed to be a 15-hour trip became a 43-hour odyssey.  Here's my original schedule:

1. ORD-EWR: 7 Jan 6:10 pm CDT (GMT-6) - 7 Jan 9:22 pm EDT (GMT-5)
2. EWR-BOG: 7 Jan 11:55 pm EDT (GMT-5) - 8 Jan 5:55 am COT (GMT-5)
3. BOG-BGA: 8 Jan 9:45 am COT (GMT-5) - 8 Jan 10:51 am COT (GMT-5)

Here's what actually happened:

1. ORD-EWR: 7 Jan 7:25 pm CDT (GMT-6) - 7 Jan 11:52 pm EDT (GMT-5)
2. EWR-BOG: 8 Jan 3:59 pm EDT (GMT-5) - 8 Jan 10:34 am COT (GMT-5)
3. BOG-BGA: 9 Jan 9:45 am COT (GMT-5) - 9 Jan 10:51 am COT (GMT-5)

Here's the full story:

1. ORD-EWR:

• Takeoff from ORD delayed an hour and fifteen minutes.
• Spent another hour and fifteen minutes on the tarmac at EWR.
• Pilot says we are waiting for our gate.
• Pilot says our gate is being changed.
• Pilot says our gate is back to the original.
• Pilot says we are waiting for another plane to finish refueling.
• FINALLY we get to the gate.
• It's just about midnight.  I run to my next gate.  It's bare.  Not a single United employee or customer in sight.  Plane's still there though, but I've got no way to get to it.
• I get in (a very long) line for United customer service.  One girl tells the rest of the line that she just called United and got helped a lot quicker.  I call while waiting in line.
• I get a notification around 1:45 am that my plane JUST TOOK OFF from Newark.  Needless to say I'm pissed that there were no staff at the gate.
• Though I was told by the hold track several times that my call was important to them and would be answered in the order it was received and that it would be approximately 15-20 minutes, my call gets picked up in about 40 minutes.  I've hardly progressed through the physical customer service line.
• The man on the phone schedules me on the next available flight: EWR-BOG: 8 Jan 3:59 pm EDT (GMT-5) - 8 Jan 10:34 pm COT (GMT-5), BOG-BGA: 9 Jan 8:45 am COT (GMT-5) - 9 Jan 9:51 am COT (GMT-5).  
• This means 16 more hours in Newark and 9 hours in Bogota.  This means arriving home 22 hours after my original plan.
• The customer service rep takes about 30 minutes to schedule this and leaves me on the (mostly silent) line.
• I learn that hotel vouchers can only be given in person, and travel vouchers can only be given by complaining online.
• He transfers me to luggage services to see where my suitcases are.  After 30 minutes, they pick up the phone and tell me they have no way of knowing exactly where my luggage is, but that it should follow me.  I can't retrieve it until Bucaramanga.
• After waiting in line for over 4 hours, I get to the desk, where I'm given a hotel for the...morning?  It's about 4 am.  The rep can't promise a hotel in Bogotá but says she'll write a note on my file.  She sends me on my way with a hotel voucher, three $10 food vouchers, a toiletry kit, and a bottle of water.
• Took the airport train to the hotel shuttle pickup point and wait almost an hour for my bus.
• The bus is full of British people for unknown reasons.  Half of the Brits are left behind because the bus isn't big enough for all of us.
• Get to the hotel and wait almost an hour to be assigned a room.  Spend one of my vouchers at the hotel cafe on a banana, muffin, and bottle of water.
• Get to my room about 6 am.  I look in my carry-on and find no change of clothes, just weird stuff that wouldn't fit in my suitcase but is not useful to me now.
• Sleep for about 7 hours.  Find out the banana is definitely not ripe and definitely not edible.
• Take the shuttle back to the airport.  Throw out the two full bottles of water I didn't have time to drink. 

2. EWR-BOG:

• Get on the plane, stow my carry-on, and find my seat.
• A flight attendant comes to me, hands me a boarding pass with my name on it, and says, "Ms. Roznai?  Please occupy this seat."
• It's business class!
• There's no one next to me, or occupying either seat across the aisle.
• I get to order a complementary alcoholic drink?!
• Oh, I had to scarf it down before takeoff?  Bye mostly-full Jack & Coke.
• Cool, I don't have to pay to watch TV in business class!
• First I watched the Golden Globes until we lost the US signal somewhere at the end of Florida, then I watched Miss Peregrin's Home for Peculiar Children.  It was an enjoyable film.
• Flight lands in Bogotá and luckily there's no line at immigration.  I take the bus to my terminal and ask the Avianca desk about a hotel voucher.  They can't do anything since it was booked through United, so they direct me back to the main terminal to find the United desk.
• I walk past customer service desks for every airline except United.  I ask around and am directed to the single United ticket counter.
• I tell my story to the United worker, she looks up my reservation, and says she cannot give me a voucher because it is against United Airlines policy to give vouchers for weather delays.
• I argue that it was not entirely a weather delay, that the gates at EWR were full of other planes so we could not occupy a gate.  She argues that those planes were occupying those gates because of weather.  She calls over her manager who repeats the same company line.
• I ask about the note written by the representative in New Jersey.  She says the note says, "If possible" and that it was not possible.  She says if she were to have written the note she would not have used that language.  She would have been more direct and written that it was "required."
• I tell her it's ridiculous that it comes down to passive voice like that.  She doesn't bat an eye.
• Through sobs of despair and desperation, I ask if there are cots somewhere.  She tells me "There are some chairs over there."
• After crying in the bathroom for a bit, then buying a few souvenirs (including some dinosaur stickers 'cause treat yo'self), and buying some dinner, I find a plot of floor to call my own for the next 6 hours.

3. BOG-BGA

• I head to check in to my flight and am redirected to the other terminal.  I find a bus that takes me there.
• I check in and find my fellow teacher Andrea, and we wait together for our flight.
• Our flight ends up being delayed an hour.
• We finally start boarding, and I am thrilled to discover that I'm in a row all by myself.  In fact, I am the only person sitting in the entire 12-person exit-row section.  The flight attendant is concerned that I can't handle the responsibility and offers to relocate me.  I stay.
• I raise the armrests and lay down for a nap, waking up only for my complimentary Avianca juice box.
• I arrive at the airport and my luggage does too!
• Andrea and I wait 20 minutes for my scheduled cab to arrive.
• Finally I make it home and collapse on my bed.

It was quite exhausting and took me at least a week to recover.  I later sat down and sent the following message to United (I maxed out the character limit):

On my journey from Chicago to Bucaramanga 7Jan2017 I encountered many misfortunes. The first plane UA330 was delayed an hour due to weather, but I still would've made my connection as I had a 2.5 hour layover initially. But, we spent an hour and a half stuck in the plane on the tarmac in Newark because there were not available gates and the plane in our gate was refueling. I sprinted 30 gates to my next plane, which was still sitting there, but there were no United employees in sight to let me in. UA1558 left the gate 45 minutes later-enough time for me to have gotten on the plane if they had not locked me out. I got in line at United customer service at 12:15am. The line was moving extremely slowly so I called United while continuing to wait in line. After listening to 40 minutes of "Your call is important to us. Your estimated wait time is 15-20 minutes," I finally got ahold of a representative. After telling me that the earliest possible flight I could get on was at 4:30pm the next day (16 hr layover in Newark), landing at 10:30pm and departing at 7:30am (9 hr layover in Bogota), he remained silent on the line for 30 minutes confirming my flight (I almost thought he'd hung up). He then connected me to luggage (another 30 minutes on hold), where they told me they THOUGHT my luggage was in Newark but really had no way of confirming that for sure, and that it would "probably" be checked through with my new tickets. I continued waiting in line until 5am (5 hours total) and received a hotel, but the Wyndham Gardens was not ready for that many surprise guests and I waited another hour to check in. Later that day I return to the airport and take flight UA1068 with no issues. When I arrive in Bogota, the United representative and her supervisor refuse to help me out due to policy, despite the note left on my record from the rep in Newark. I had to sleep in the Bogota airport through no fault of my own. I would like to receive recuperation for this harrowing 43 hr Odyssey.

As a response, they gave me a $200 travel credit.  Here's the catch: if your flight involves planes that are not United (even if they are Star Alliance) it won't work.  United doesn't fly to Bucaramanga.  I've got a year to figure out how to use it.

Last but not least, in case you're interested and missed it the first time around, here's my Twitter tale of this venture:

Travel Nightmare - Jan 7-9, 2017

2,562 Mile Romance

17 de octubre 2016

Floridablanca, Santander, Colombia

This past week was October Recess - a full 10 days sans students (with 2 professional development days interrupting the middle of the week) - and my fantastic boyfriend Noah came to visit!  He was supposed to arrive late Friday night (7 de octubre), so I stayed up past my bedtime (I've been going to bed recently around 9 or 10 pm...one of the fine benefits of having to be at school at 6:30 am) to wait for the taxi to pick him up from the airport.  I was sleepy yet excited!

However, it turns out he missed his connection in Bogotá (not an uncommon experience) and the next flight wasn't until 6 am the following morning.  So, after chatting with him (until his phone died... Bogotá has got to get some outlets!) and making sure he had a safe place to sleep and a ticket for the morning flight, I re-ordered the taxi and went to sleep for a few hours.

Thankfully, he and the luggage all made it safely the next morning (8 de octubre)!  The taxi drove me there, waited for us, and drove us back, all for $50,000 pesos (let me know if you want his number, he's very reliable)!

Made it safe and sound! We're both more than a little bit sleep-deprived, but so happy!

So we went back to my place, and after meeting Lulo La Gatita and giving her a good pet, we went to go have some Santanderean breakfast at Tony's Desayuno.  After some arepas, jugo for me/granizado for Noah, and huevos, we were ready... to nap.

Later in the afternoon, after a day of napping and otherwise chilling, we headed out to find Jesus.  Or is that Jesús?  In any case, we took a taxi out to El Santísimo, the tallest statue of Jesus in Colombia, and depending on whether or not you count the height of the base, possibly the tallest statue of Jesus in the world (yes, taller than Christ the Redeemer).  El Santísimo is 33 m tall, 37 if you count the base.  Christ the Redeemer is 30 m tall, 38 if you count the base.  (Noah doesn't think the base should count.)

We took the teleférico up the mountain  - Noah felt like we were entering Jurassic Park.

 Once we got there, we took our obligatory selfies and walked up the steps to see Giant Jesus up close and in the flesh - err...stone.  He's quite a sight to behold, I gotta say.  Though the sun was out when got there, night quickly fell like a bad powerpoint presentation.  There was no sunset.  Only darkness.

This guy?

I hope I'm not acting holier-than-thou.

So it turns out you can go up and see the world from Jesus's point of view, so we paid another $5,000 to take the Jesus-vators up 40 meters to get a better look at Bucaramanga (because being on the top of a mountain wasn't high enough).

Not the way to heaven.

Hey everybody!

We spent some time up there admiring the view and wondering what the antennae on Jesus's middle finger and head are for (I think they control different messages for different people), and watched as some teens tried to break their way onto the roof of the observation deck (seriously, aren't you high up enough already?!) before we made our way back down.

After our descent, we caught a light show projected onto a fountain, which was actually pretty cool!  They synced up the music with the movements of the water and the colors and the images and it was just fantastic!

Not my video, but the only videos I took were less than 10 second Snapchats.  

You'll just have to come see it for yourself!

We ate dinner at a restaurant with a clear view of the Holy Armpit, and got to watch the light show a second time while we ate.  We then made our way back down the teleférico and back home to get a good night's sleep.

9 de octubre

Floridablanca, Santander, Colombia

The next day, we decided to walk around Floridablanca, in an area I'd been meaning to explore but hadn't yet had the chance.  We stumbled into a dimly-lit small-aisled market, with people selling everything from candles to fruit to meat to tools.  One vendor had an entire pig skin hanging out to dry.  After holding our noses for a while (all that raw meat doesn't smell great), we walked back out and continued our explorations.  We eventually ended up finding the Botanical Gardens (Jardin Botánico Eloy Valenzuela).  I had heard great things, so we went in!

There were of course many beautiful plants, but perhaps the most exciting thing (to me) was the wildlife!  They had an aviary FULL of beautiful parrots, a pond full of ducks, and of course TURTLES wandering everywhere free-range.

WHAAAT. Check out this dude.

After the botanical gardens, we went in search of Obleas, a traditional Santandarean snack that is essentially a wafer sandwich.  Traditionally, obleas are just filled with arequipe, a caramelly-dulce-de-leche sort of thing.  I ordered the Amor a Mil, which is filled with arequipe, cheese, guanabana, and strawberries.  It was tasty but didn't stay together well, so I ended up eating most of the fillings with a spoon.  Noah got the Amor de Tres, which is filled with arequipe, cream, and pear.  He really enjoyed it.  We then stumbled upon a town square with a market going on, where many people tried to get us to buy more obleas, ice cream, bracelets, or photos.  We declined and headed on home, quite pooped from our adventures.

10 de octubre

Floridablanca, Santander, Colombia

Unfortuantely I had to go to work on Monday, but afterwards Noah and I had a bunch of people over for dinner (homemade tacos!) and board games (thanks for sending me stuff Mom and Dad!).  Everyone had a great time and really enjoyed the tacos.  We finally got some spicy in our system!  (Spice is not very common here.)  After eating and chatting and vying for the cat's affection, we played a couple rounds of Sushi Go Party and Cards Against Humanity, and (to my knowledge anyway) everyone had a grand ol' time.

11 de octubre

Floridablanca, Santander, Colombia

I had to go to work again on Tuesday, so Noah was left alone for much of the day once more.  Luckily, he became fast friends with Lulo and she enjoyed napping on him.  After work, Colombia was playing Uruguay, so Noah and I joined a few of the other teachers at a bar to watch the game.  We were told to meet at Saxo Pub (an Irish pub, I think), but it turns out Saxo was gone and Das Leben (a German pub) had taken its place.  So we were quite the worldly group I suppose.  It was a pretty exciting game, and the two teams ended up tying (empate).

12 de octubre

Bucaramanga, Santander, Colombia

On Wednesday, we decided to adventure to downtown Bucaramanga and see what there is to see.  We walked around El Centro and bought some fruit from the market, and dodged all the people that were jumping out to try to get us to buy whatever they were hawking.  We saw a guy blowing glass on the street and watched him make a swan, which was pretty cool (and only $5,000!).  

You don't see that every day.

We checked out the painted hormigas, and Noah had his first Colombian hotdog!  ...He wasn't impressed and it may have also been his last Colombian hotdog.  Luckily, we also found a place with empanadas and big ol' fried potato balls full of stuff (Papas Rellenas), so the night ended on a good note.

13 de octubre

Floridablanca, Santander, Colombia

Thursday was Noah's last full day in Colombia, so we spent it mostly eating empanadas and doing other very Colombian experiences - drinking fresh juice, buying coffee and aguardiente, and drinking water out of a bag.

Not as easy as I make it seem.

Many things here are served in bags - water, milk, ketchup, jelly, mayonnaise...you name it.  More environmentally friendly!  We also tried the Colombian soda Pony Malta, which it turns out is disgusting (to my students who may be reading this, Noah says Dr Pepper is WAY better.  I don't even like Dr Pepper and it's way better than Pony Malta).

We had gotten word that a chiva trip was in the works, so we headed back down to Bucaramanga with a bag full of beer to make Noah's last night a great one.  There were only 11 of us, but we still had a BLAST!

We're adorable.

Our chiva tour took us up to a discoteca near the top of a mountain with a great view of the city below us.  It being a Thursday night, we were essentially the only people there, short of one elderly couple quietly sipping their beers.  We lit up the empty dance floor and had a great time before re-embarking and partying 'til the cows came home.


14 de octubre
Palonegro International Airport, Lebrija, Santander, Colombia

We woke up before the sun to catch the taxi to the airport for Noah's early-morning flight.  He was able to get in one last empanada at the airport, though, being airport food, it wasn't the greatest.  We had a mild freak-out when the departures board turned from en sala (turns out that means it's boarding time!) to cerrado while we were eating, but luckily all was okay at Bucaramanga's tiny airport and Noah made it on the plane and safely through all his connections.

Colombian Fruits

15 de agosto 2016
Floridablanca, Santander, Colombia

Colombia has a LOT of fruits that we don't get in the states. I have not tried them all yet, and I see many in the markets that I have not learned the names for yet.  However, we had a fruits and juices primer during our first week here (lulo, maracuya, guayaba, and guanabana), plus I've learned about a couple more since then (pitahaya and cherimoya), so I'll do my best.  I've tried all the ones I'm writing about except for the cherimoya, and I have enjoyed every one of them.  So tasty!

Juicing is HUGE here.  You can get fresh juice everywhere you go, and it's delicious.  It's usually thicker, but not quite as thick as a smoothie.  None of that "from concentrate" garbage here though.  All from fresh fruit from the market.  You can order your juice made con agua (with water) or con leche (with milk).

Disclaimer: I did not take most of these photos.  Thanks Google search!

Lulo has no English equivalent, but other countries call it Naranjilla (little orange)

Lulo looks like a tomato, tastes like a citrusy kiwi.  The skin is kind of rough and feels like it has stubble.  To make juice, you peel it and put it in the blender with sugar and either milk or water.  It's super tasty.

Maracuya, or yellow passionfruit

Maracuya is yellow, with gooey yellow delicious guts.  You can cut it open and eat it with a spoon or your fingers, pulling out pieces as you go.  You can eat it with ice cream, make a juice by mixing the pulp with cream and condensed milk or with water and lemon, or layer it between cookies.

Guayaba, or guava

Guayaba can be eaten whole and unpeeled.  If you want to make a juice, don't peel it, just mix it up with sugar and water or milk.  Warning, it will stop you up.  Guava paste is also pretty big here; you can eat it like a candy or find it in a lot of pastries.

Guanabana according to Google is called Soursop

Guanabana is HUGE!  Farmer for comparison.

Guanabana has lots of fiber, so it helps your digestion.  If you're going to eat or juice it, take off the skin and take out the seeds.  You can juice it with water or milk, but I think more people prefer this one with milk.

Pitahaya, or yellow dragon fruit.  I actually took this picture!

Pitahaya is delicious.  You cut it in half and scoop out the insides.  Don't eat the rind.  However, DO NOT eat a whole one at once.  Especially before you are going out to the salsa club.  This fruit will give you the runs, which is not a great experience in the land of don't-flush-your-toilet-paper and who-needs-toilet-seats-anyway.  I ate this whole thing and had a grand time doing it, then went with a group of teachers to the local dirty-dancing salsa club Calisón.  After about 4-5 trips to the bathroom, the pitahaya had made it out of my system and I was fine, but I was worried I got traveler's diarrhea since I had been drinking the water or something.  NOPE, turns out it was just this fruit.  I've made a juice since with my other pitahaya, mango, spinach, and currants, and had no problems.  Just don't more than a half at a time.

Chirimoya, or custard apple

I saw chirimoya at the market, but haven't tried it yet.  I need to go back and buy one, because Wikipedia makes it sound really cool.  Mark Twain called it "the most delicious fruit known to man."  It is creamy, which makes it good in ice creams and desserts.  According to Wikipedia, "Some characterize the fruit flabor as a blend of banana, pineapple, papaya, peach, and strawberry.  The fruit can be chilled and eaten with a spoon, which has earned it another nickname, the ice cream fruit."

Ciruelas are in the plum family

At the salad bar in the school cafeteria, they often have these weird fruits that look like huge cherries.  The ciruelas taste like a mix between cherries and nectarines.  They're interesting, but not my favorite.  Maybe I just haven't had one that is the perfect level of ripe.

Alojabana, a roll made with cheese in the dough

Almojabana is traditionally served with your juice.  It's a very tasty soft roll made with cheese.

I'm excited to see what other produce Colombia has to offer, since all the produce is SO FRESH and SO CHEAP and SO DELICIOUS.  I am gonna miss these fruits when I leave.